Integrative Therapist Billie Dunlevy discusses low vanity and shares how one can begin to enhance yours, at this time
‘Self-esteem’ is a phrase we hear and use usually however what’s the definition of vanity, and extra importantly maybe, low self-worth? Billie Dunlevy, a Counselling Directory Member and Integrative Therapist has the reply and shares some life like methods we are able to begin to enhance our personal vanity.
“Self-esteem is a measure of how we value and perceive ourselves,” Billie explains on Happiful’s podcast. “It’s fundamentally about our attitude and how much we like ourselves. It’s different from self-confidence which is based more on an external measure of success, such as our ability to solve problems, land a promotion or give a dazzling presentation. Some people can actually have high self-confidence but low self-esteem.”
Low vanity
When we interact with our sense of low vanity, Billie continues, it might go away us with a way of heaviness or hopelessness. “We can tend to have an overall negative view of ourselves, which can make us judge and speak to ourselves harshly. We can sometimes feel unloveable, incompetent and fearful of making mistakes or letting other people down.”
How low vanity presents to the skin world, she notes, could be very particular person.It might manifest within the avoidance of different individuals and relationships, overworking, being always busy and productive and having points round boundary setting and individuals pleasing.
Working on your self
The excellent news is that it’s potential to work on low vanity and enhance this over time. Billie outlines among the practices we are able to begin to embrace in our every day routines to handle our low-self esteem right away.
- Check your self-talk. Don’t permit it to run, attempt to counter it with one other voice that’s extra compassionate or sort. That additionally goes for jokingly placing your self down in a self-deprecating approach. It’s actually not useful.
- Be extra aware and are available off autopilot. Find a quiet place and ask your self these questions frequently. ‘How am I feeling?’ ‘What do I need?’ ‘What’s occurring?’ Noticing with out judgement right here is vital.
- Treat your self like somebody who issues! Behave in the direction of your self as you’ll in the direction of a good friend who’s in want of just a little further care. What would you do for them that you may do for your self as an alternative?
Pause for thought
One nice and proactive technique to counter low vanity, Billie says, is to find time for one thing that you’re good at. “Mastery really helps to improve our levels of self-esteem and people might be reading this thinking ‘I’m not really good at anything’, to which I would say, have you taken the time to find out what you like and what you could potentially get interested in?”
Exercise
Get curious and take your self on a ‘thought date’. It may very well be to the park with a pocket book, or an hour in a espresso store the place you’ll be able to people-watch and take your time to think about the next questions:
- What do I like?
- What issues to me?
- What would I wish to develop into extra focused on?
Billie explains that this self-work helps somebody with low vanity to prioritise and find time for themselves. “Low self-esteem and people pleasing goes hand in hand. People pleasers are so ‘other’ orientated that their focus is on what other people want and need, so they really have to step back to consider what their own needs and wants are.”
“And by making time for this, you’re sending a very important message to yourself; ‘I matter, I’m of value and my value isn’t tied to my doing, it’s tied to my being’.”
Find out extra about Billie’s work and comply with Billie on Instagram