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In a 1929 Atlantic article titled “Tragedies of Etiquette,” an nameless author particulars the various surprises contained in a guide on girls’s etiquette. One instance: “My mother, whom I had always considered wellbred, had never taught me that a young man should be offered a stuffed chair, an elderly one an armchair, while a lady must always be seated on the sofa.”
Norms of well mannered habits have come a great distance since then. The etiquette books of in the present day are far more relaxed, Michael Waters wrote final yr: “One 2014 study found that whereas early-20th-century etiquette books tended to dish out specific rules, today’s etiquette guides are much more general—advocating a set of ‘fluid “rules” that assist us work together thoughtfully,’ as an up to date model of Emily Post’s Etiquette suggests, quite than a one-size-fits-all directive.”
As behavioral norms loosen and folks determine how you can act with out counting on once-sacred conventions, areas of society are experiencing rising pains—or no less than some rising awkwardness. In his article, Waters provides one fascinating case: Strict social codes used to find out what folks may talk about on the dinner desk, however now it’s as much as us human beings to determine it out for ourselves, which has led to issues about whether or not we’re now sharing too a lot with each other.
Today’s studying record explores how our mores of politeness have developed—and the way they proceed to alter every day, by way of our language and the way we reside our lives.
The Decline of Etiquette and the Rise of “Boundaries”
By Michael Waters
For centuries, strict social norms dictated what folks may politely discuss. Now we have now to determine it out for ourselves.
How Please Stopped Being Polite
By Walker Mimms
The phrase if it please you has been shortened and shortened over time—till it’s turn out to be extra brusque than courteous.
Four Words to Seem More Polite
By Olga Khazan
Empathy makes you higher at cocktail events—and at life. (From 2014)
Still Curious?
Other Diversions
P.S.
When the primary postcards went on sale within the U.S. in 1873, many individuals nervous that the extra informal format would “encourage thoughtless disclosure,” Waters writes. “In the old days a letter was an important affair, not to be lightly scribbled, and only sent when the writer had something to say,” a Boston-based journal argued in 1884.
I’m undecided postcards have gone on to encourage “thoughtless disclosure,” however this anecdote does encourage me to return to the observe of writing them—and to attempt to put in a little extra thought after I do.
— Isabel