Source: © Daniel Rosenhaft
In 2013, Amy Bleuel based the faith-based nonprofit Project Semicolon, which selected a semicolon as an emblem as a result of it’s “used when an author could’ve chosen to end their sentence but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.”
I acquired my semicolon tattoo in May 2019 on the one-year anniversary of my stroke, and after rescuing my canine Shelby from a kill shelter in Mississippi. I’d been toying with the thought of getting the semicolon tattoo for a few years because it was a motion devoted to presenting hope and like to these battling despair, suicide, dependancy, and self-injury — and I’d been by way of my share of every.
At the time I used to be working for a conservative company, coming face-to-face with shoppers, and I hesitated to get the tattoo on my wrist, the place many individuals have been having it positioned. Finally, I made a decision to have it placed on the nape of my neck, the place it could be hidden or seen relying on the size of my hair.
Due to my quite a few medical points, I’ve, along with my main care doctor, in all probability about 10 specialists, a few of whom, relying on their specialty, have considered my tattoo. Typically, she, or particularly he, doesn’t anticipate me to have a tattoo in any respect, so he’ll categorical shock. When I clarify what the semicolon tattoo stands for, clearly I’m taking a threat in revealing my historical past. I’ve my psychiatric meds on my record of medicines to allow them to make the belief I endure or have suffered from despair, however as soon as I clarify the that means of the semicolon tattoo and use phrases akin to despair, suicide, and self-injury, the chance for judgment will increase exponentially.
One time I used to be seeing a brand new physician, a specialist in Lyme illness (which I turned out to not have), and he requested if I minded if a few medical college students have been within the room. I virtually all the time say I don’t thoughts as a result of, as a social employee, I needed to be taught at one level, too. When this physician commented on my tattoo and I defined what it meant, I seized the second to coach the medical college students: “Depression is the most painful illness I’ve ever dealt with. Out of everything I’ve been diagnosed with, depression hurt the most.”
I didn’t anticipate them to say something, however I wished to make them suppose and I consider I did. I solely noticed that physician as soon as, but when it’s a physician I see frequently, relying on how she — and now it’s often a she — reacts to my tattoo and the reason, I would reveal extra of my historical past.
Dr. P., the headache specialist who treats my migraines, is just one of many nicest medical doctors and probably the most real girls I’ve met. The injections she offers me contain the again of my neck and my shoulder so she was one of many first medical doctors to see my tattoo. She can also be extremely good: She has each an MD and a Ph.D., and is board licensed in psychiatry and neurology. I felt as if I might belief her and at one level I made a decision to disclose to her I’d been recognized with borderline persona dysfunction. Her response was gratifying: “You’re kidding.”
I defined to her I had the nice fortune of getting each intensive dialectical conduct remedy (DBT) and transference-focused psychotherapy (TFP) with a talented psychiatrist who had been instrumental in my restoration. At one level, I used to be seeing Dr. P. each two weeks, getting nerve blocks and set off level injections, however the insurance coverage stopped masking these. Now I get Botox injections for my migraines each three months so it’s like a mini-reunion after I see her.
There are different medical doctors who’ve seen my tattoo, to whom I’d by no means take that threat. It’s unlucky that I really feel that approach about them. Call it a sixth sense and a raffle I’m not prepared to take with my hard-won psychological well being.
Thanks for studying.
Andrea