Do somebody who’s vulnerable to exaggeration? Or maybe their model of occasions strays into all-out fantasy? If somebody you take care of demonstrates pathological mendacity, they is perhaps experiencing mythomania – however getting help is an actual chance
Loving somebody who often alternates actuality at their comfort is a troublesome process, and requires infinite quantities of endurance. Especially if that particular person is undiagnosed, and you haven’t any thought how you can act or fight their tendency to compulsively lie.
Maybe, like me, it took you years to understand that the one you love is combating mythomania, and the considered speaking to another person about it terrifies you. But it doesn’t must be that means.
Since we’re speaking a few complicated and sometimes misunderstood dysfunction, that impacts each the mythomaniac and people round them, underestimating it solely ends in damaged relationships and undesirable penalties, as mythomaniacs could even break the legislation with out being conscious that they’re doing it.
Now that the dangers of remaining silent, let’s have a look at what this dysfunction is, the way it manifests, and what the attainable therapy choices are for the one you love.
What is mythomania?
According to the specialists, mythomania, additionally known as pathological mendacity, is the sturdy impulse to amplify actuality to both play the sufferer or hero. Once it turns into a behavior, mythomaniacs can use lies to:
- Protect themselves from being held accountable.
- Seek consideration.
- Take revenge on somebody by inflicting turmoil and battle.
- Try to emulate the exaggerated model of themselves that lives of their heads.
- Get a break from what seems like a monotonous life.
As you’ll be able to see, mythomaniacs use lies to form actuality to their liking, and to assist them, we should determine the foundation trigger – the preliminary factor or issues that made them really feel insecure or threatened, and prompted them to make use of lies as a protecting measure.
Counsellor, and director of Hope Therapy, Ian Stockbridge, explains: “They potentially can come from a variety of places, but I think that childhood trauma and childhood insecurities, more generally, and a wish to constantly please your caregivers, your parents, and to protect yourself in vulnerable situations as a child, can be associated. I think we can potentially learn at a very young age that to lie can be a protective factor.”
Are there sorts of mythomania?
Since each mythomaniac has a unique cause for mendacity, that’s, a unique root trigger, it’s troublesome to categorise them between those that misinform perpetuate their fantasy, and people who do it for the joys of positively or negatively influencing their setting.
“I think the problem with mythomania is that it isn’t recognised by the DSM5, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual version 5, as being a psychiatric disorder, so it doesn’t get split out in any diagnostic sense,” Ian explains. “I think, from a therapeutic point of view, it is more about recognising that there can be different underlying causes associated with it rather than different types of it. For example, often mythomania can be linked with anxiety, it can be linked with depression, and it can be a coping mechanism – that we lie pathologically to protect ourselves from some source of emotional hurt – so it may be a variation in the situation or maybe an anxiety disorder, and therefore I lie because it can stop me being anxious. I create a version of the world that is less anxious to me.”
How are you able to help a relative on this journey?
For most mythomaniacs, a solitary life is an correct description of their future, as nearly all of folks don’t need to become involved with somebody who can’t be taken severely, or poses a menace to their wellbeing.
But, from the perspective of somebody who loves a mythomaniac, leaving them alone isn’t an possibility, and rightly so. Here are some tricks to help the one you love and in addition to deal with this example in one of the best ways attainable…
Empathise with their situation
At this level, we perceive that mythomania is a situation that stems from childhood and is a means for mythomaniacs to guard themselves from being emotionally harm, or to evade actuality. So, at any time when they begin projecting, telling lies about you, or professing their prowess, empathise with them, and do not forget that their behaviour is a response to trauma.
“If necessary, engage in therapy to unload and develop new coping mechanisms,” says psychotherapist Lucy Smith.
Be sincere
Get weak with them and attempt to kindly clarify how this example is affecting you and your relationship with them. But don’t make all of it about you both; attempt to get them to speak and see if there’s any inclination to enhance on their half.
Set boundaries
Love and help ought to by no means be an excuse for mistreatment or abuse. Even if an individual is mentally struggling, and is extra prone to have issue respecting your boundaries, you need to set and preserve them. For instance, you can begin by making it a rule to finish any dialog with them as quickly as you catch them mendacity.
Stay calm
Aggressively confronting a mythomaniac will solely trigger them to inform extra lies in hopes of profitable the argument, and popping out victorious. After all, you’ll be able to’t battle hearth with hearth, proper? Please keep calm and don’t overlook to be empathetic.
“Learn to react to a situation rather than engage with it,” explains Lucy.
Suggest assist
Suggesting assist might be one of many scariest moments, as your relative could not realise that they’re, the truth is, the issue. However, in the event you counsel in search of assist as a means to enhance each of your lives, and don’t make it seem to be being a mythomaniac is one thing to be ashamed of, your probabilities of listening to a optimistic reply are excessive. Remember that your tone and the phrases you employ are essential.
Possible therapy choices
Mythomania, like most psychological well being situations, can’t all the time merely be cured with a tablet and a few relaxation. Professional help by remedy might help to:
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Find out the underlying downside. Did it originate throughout a traumatic occasion in your relative’s childhood? Or was it the results of loneliness and the necessity for consideration?
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Discover the rationale why they proceed to make use of lies to both defend themselves or preserve their fantasy. What is the factor or issues that compel them to maintain up with the behavior?
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Help your relative turn into conscious of their situation and its detrimental results. How is mythomania affecting their lives and relationships? What is the harm they’re inflicting?
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Work across the disgrace and guilt that may ultimately floor. After turning into conscious of their downside, how can they cope in a wholesome means?
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Find wholesome mechanisms of emotional safety. What are some methods they’ll defend themselves emotionally that don’t contain mendacity?
Discover extra about mythomania by visiting the Counselling Directory, or communicate to a professional counsellor for help.